Monday, 21 February 2011
Febuary/21/2011
well today was...interesting i suppose you could say..its good to find out people who you thought were your friends and who you think you can trust turn out to be fakes and liars. i dont see why people have to put up a front on who they are if you really dont care then done pretend to why waste anyones times ... i dont really to much though i dont really feel anything because of it...i havent felt anything in a long time. just numbness. the same for anything really. i dont even remember what it feels like really.. how it feels to be happy. or excited or even sad for that matter. its just nothingness. emotionless. its kinda pathetic really how does someone escape this? how does one feel again..ive never felt more alone even when im around a bunch of people no one sees me for who i am. i put on a fake smile a few fake laughs here and there and no one thinks anything else...no one will ever know that deep inside im screaming and i just need 1 person to save me ...
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I understand how you feel. I lost the friendship of someone that I felt was my soul sister. I don't think that it was my fault, but maybe it was. Who knows. I don't blame her for anything but it hurt because I still love her as a sister. It's hard because everyone that I've ever loved ends up hurting me as some point. I realize now that I have the victim mentality and I'm trying to break it but it's hard. Stay strong, don't give up. I've been fighting with depression, anxiety,and post traumatic stress since I was a child. I won't let it beat me, and you do the same.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. For years, I've felt numb inside and was unhappy. I put up a smiling face to the outside world but inside I felt like dying. One day, I just got tired and started talking about how I felt even though it made the people in my life uncomfortable. It's another form of therapy that helps me.