Feb/22/2011

well today has just begun its 2pm here , im just hanging in my room. curtains closed the light seems to hurt my eyes ,i feel content when im alone, i guess that may not be the right word to describe it..but it works for now.  i dont really know how to act around people anymore i feel so different from others that how could i possibly fit in.. and im tired of pretending to be something that im not, but i also dont want them to know that when im alone i sit in the dark and cut myself  just so i can feel something  just so i know that im still alive , i hear the silly comments and the rude accusations of the ones who are around me of people who cut and how they are just wanting attention and just doing it becuz they have nothing better to do...little do they know a person within there circle does it. i wonder if maybe they would have a change in their perception but i highly doubt it..they shall never understand what its like untill they have been there. its NOT for a attention and its certainly not because i have nothing better to do...i would rather not be this way i dont wish this apon anyone at any time. but its something i deal with and something i cannot controle. judge away, its not as easy to stop as people think it is..