Febuary/20/2011

So this is my first posting..im not really sure who reads this or even if anybody will but i know im not alone in the feelings that i have or the thoughts that seem to comsume my mind. and maybe just maybe somebody else out there feels the same way i do..as the name of my blog says everyday is a struggle to stay alive. and my struggle is depression and suicide with a small dose of cutting on the side...i suppose i should introduce myself. my names shay and im 22 years old. i decided that everyday i will write how im feeling things ive done and gone through that day. just my overall feelings and decisions that were made. maybe poems ive wrote or found that ive liked. this is really just a way to get it out of my head and out there. please dont judge me and if you have anything bad to say then say it elsewhere . a little about me i live in ontario canada, i have all my life.. when i was 6 untill about 12 i was molested, when i was 13 i began cutting myself , doing drugs and drinking anything to escape the pain i was feeling it all helped for a few years ..after a while my parents found out and sent me for "help" doctors , special schools. nothing changed no one understand how it feels when they have never been there never felt this way never cut themselvs. everyday is truely a struggle , a stuggle with your mind body and soul to even get out of bed , no one gets it. they just think they do. im 22 years old now ive been self injuring for 9 years now. some days are better then others ive gone months without cutting but one day can change it all and i fall right bak.. over the next while you'll see my journy...goodbye for now