march/25/2011

sorry i havent wrote for a while i will try to start writing everyday again,, ive been super busy trying to find a job which has turned out to be successful..finnaly something went right..ive been feeling totaly stressed out lately which really doesnt help anything im hoping that now ill start to feel sumwhat better...day by day its slowly passing me by..i have days when im good. and days i dont even want to wake up. but ill fight untill my very last breath

march/18.2011

Its been a couple weeks since i last posted...i lost my job and been trying to figure out wut im going to d no one is hireing it seems... my life just seems to be slowly falling apart. nothing ever seems to work out for me i always end up with the crap end of everything. cant one thing just ever go my way. ugh..no job means no money which means im going to lose my car , my place to live, everything...i really need a miracle right about now..

march/6/2011

Words...sometimes so small but can hurt like a million stabbing knives i dont think anyone can gather that concept sometimes what people say  can make sumones day or crush it completely ...even family. family is the worst there the people who are sapposed to be there for you no matter wut the ones who ar saposed to make you feel better when ur upset. not the people who make you feel like your worthless and that you dont matter at all.somtimes it feels like i really am alone. no one cares or would even care if i wasnt here or not. i just want to leave my worthlless exsistance ..

march/3/2011

so the lastfew weeks ive been super self contious more so then before...ive decided that im to fat and i need to lose weight. so ive been eating barely anything and it seems to have worked sum wut ive lost some. but its still not enough. i want ot be confident and i want to be pretty i just hate being me. i want to be somebody else. maybe this way i cant start over

march/3rd/2011

Love..what does it matter..most of the time the one you truely love you cannot be with or it ends in disaster ...i finnaly found someone who makes me feel something who really makes me smile who totaly understands me and accepts me for all my flaws...but he lives a millions miles away...im in canada and hes in atlanta georgia..ugh. why does this world have to be so cruel. why let me find such beautiful things just to put it in my face and laugh just seeing me in pain knowing it'll never happen. on the other side of the country my one true love resides , and his resides here ..he says he doesnt care how long it takes that one day he will finnaly be with me but how long ? will it really happen? why get my hopes up for it to all come crashing back down. all i know is i love this man and i always will. even if hes a million miles a way hes fixed a peice of my heart and its only his. never will i feel this way for another. xox i love you damen